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He makes me new, He is making me new

Friday, November 24, 2006

Our Little Thanksgiving Bird

'Tis was thanksgiving morning and all was quite around the Jones home. Mama was feeding baby some breakfast and the dog was lazily laying in her bed, snoring. When suddenly, mama heard some strange noises coming from the woodburning stove pipe and the dog's ears perked up.

It sounded like little feet kicking or little paws scratching. Puzzled, mama thought "perhaps it's just something stuck there" and continued on with the breakfast feeding. But the noise continued, on and off, until she thought, perhaps this was a small animal, and it had to be rescued out of the pipe.

When papa came downstairs for breakfast she mentioned this to him, and he kind of shrugged it off "there is no way a bird could fit through that small opening in the chimney" but decided to open the flue just to make sure there was nothing in there.
He slowly turned the handle and sure enough, "swoosh" a little something fell right into the ashes. A small and frightened blackbird sat there as he looked into their puzzled eyes. Papa was incredulous as mama said "I thought it was a bird! Look at the poor little thing!"

It was not clear what the best way to proceed was, as they feared that upon opening the door to the stove the little one would just fly out into the house desperately seeking a way out. And that's exactly what happened, until the front door was opened and the little blackbird found his way out to freedom, on that sunny thanksgiving morning.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

The greatest loss

Yesterday I was reading my friend Greg's blog (www.gregshead.net) about how his baby girl loves being noticed, and the perhaps innate need we humans have to be paid attention to by others. I commented that I certainly could relate, to having the need to be noticed, listened to, in general, to be loved, and I certainly agreed that children, even as babies, revel in being noticed by others.

Then today I was watching TV, again the show where the main character, a grown woman with her own child, lives in her mother's house after her divorce. As I said in my previous post "My Mom" many of the most entertaining and moving scenes happen when the mother and daughter are together. Today's episode was no different. The mother was talking about the children she gets to see in her profession, abused, battered, emotionally wounded, and as she remembers the "crazy" things she used to do for her daughter when she was growing up, she realizes, these abused children don't have that. They don't have someone to do crazy things for them, out of love for them, she sums it up like this:

"Perhaps their greatest loss is not having someone who will abandon common sense and dignity on their behalf."

I think that is so true! Children need to be noticed, certainly. They also need someone whose love is so overwhelming they will sometimes temporarily abandon common sense and dignity on their behalf. Perhaps when society labels them "weird" for being home schooled, or when their faith clashes with the culture we live in, or when the child for some reason is just "different". They need someone who won't mind being thought a fool to stand up for them, to be strong for them, to abandon "common sense and dignity" if only temporarily.

I didn't have that. My parents were definitely willing to abandon common sense and dignity, not on my behalf, but rather on their own behalf, no matter what that meant for us, their children. HOW VERY SAD.
Yet today I have a Father who notices me, and who went to crazy lengths to stand up for me, so I want to live in that overwhelming love. And I want my son to have someone who will teach him about that love, and put aside their own gain and reputation for his sake.
Out of pure love for him.
And I want that someone to be me.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

My little gift from God--part II

Not too long ago I wrote a post about my bundle of joy TO my bundle of joy, to document the feelings and thoughts I have as we go about our days together, and I just think it is something I will continue to do probably for a long time.

See, the thing is, as any mother out there can probably attest to, we learn so much everyday from our little ones.

I have learned how much MORE patient I can be (at least more than I used to be :-)) I have learned how much love my heart can feel without exploding, I have learned how grateful I can be even when everything else around me seems to be falling apart, because I am looking at this awesome gift God has given to me in my son.

Even as God stretches me and teaches me through the challenging times we have, he also stretches my heart to its fullest capacity, when He shows me just how blessed I am to have this amazing little boy in my life, to teach and to learn from, to love and to be loved by, to laugh with, to kiss, to hold, to comfort.

It is no secret that motherhood and parenting can be difficult, challenging and downright maddening, but I just want to spend as much time as possible thinking about and dwelling on how rewarding, heart-filling and life-giving it can be.

I just hope I can think about this tonight as I drag my tired self into my baby's room and as I comfort him and help him back to sleep. :-)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

My God

I like to have music on whenever I drive anywhere, and Lakelan must have inherited it from me because he is usually very happy in the car, as long as there is music playing. :-)

Lately I have been listening to my Matthew Ward cd's and one of my favorite songs from his albums is called "I will worship you".
I love it because it is a series of attributes about God, and it is sung so honestly, so passionately, that as simple as the words are, they express a direct declaration of the greatness of the God I worship and the love I feel for him.

I love singing along to this song because I can't help but feel this immense closeness to my God and Father, and it just seems to put everything in perspective. If I most need grace at that moment, "My God is mercy" if I have huge problems that I have no solutions for "My God is power", if I need direction in my life, "My God is wisdom".

And the one that has the most impact to me is "His name is LOVE...His heart is tender". He loves me and he has a tender heart towards me. That just puts a smile on my face and warms my heart.

Thank you Father, for your unfailing love toward me.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Lakelan's slideshow-Fotos de Lakelan

A good friend of mine,Greg :-) has graciously offered to use his web designer privileges to host a couple of short slideshows of Lakelan for all our family and friends that are far away, so...here it is!!!!
All you have to do is click on the link below and it will take you to the "movie" :-) Enjoy!

For those of you without Quicktime, here's a link to download :-) http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/

Para mis familiares y amigos de habla hispana, aca va: un amigo mio me ofrecio poner un par de pequenas peliculitas de Lakelan (con musica y todo!! que nivel che!) en su pagina de internet, asi las pueden ver.
Para los que no tienen el programa Quicktime, pueden bajarlo de internet en http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/
Espero que les guste!



Lakelan's Slideshow (1-Minute Version)

See the FULL-LENGTH Lakelan Slideshow!

Some fun with the girls :-)

Last night Jessica, Kelly and I had some phone with Photo Booth.
Check us out!





Pictures


Saturday, August 05, 2006

My Mom

Recently I was watching re-runs of an old TV show where the main character, a grown woman with her own child, lives in her mother's house after her divorce. Many of the most entertaining and moving scenes happen when the mother and daughter are together. I watch this grown woman, a mother herself, engage in this life enriching relationship with her mother, who is loving, wise if a bit stubborn and bossy, and something is stirred inside me. I miss my mom.

There are probably MANY adults out there who live far away from their mothers who feel this way, but I'm different. You see, I miss the mom I never had. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, my parents were not the way God intended parents to be. There was abuse, there was lack limits, lack of love, true, sacrificial love, the kind a parent is SUPPOSED to have for their children. Not the self-seeking love based on the parents' own needs and insecurities.

My mother grew up in some ways abused as well, and it is my opinion that her emotional growth was stunted at an early age, and that is probably why when she married and had her own children, she wasn't quite able to really LOVE someone, unless that someone in some way performed a specific role in her life, be it make her feel important, or capable, or cared for, etc.
Most her relationships were based on what SHE needed, and her relationship with her children was no different.

I remember that as young children, my siblings and I had a nanny and didn't see my mother much, and then later in life when she was not working ad much she was around, but not really available. The TV was her vest friend, and we mattered only to the extent that we were not distracting her, annoying her, or not doing as well in school as she thought we ought to. (One of the phrases that sticks out in my mind was "You got an A minus? Why not an A?" it seemed I could never do well enough).

I remember days when she would be home when she was supposed to be working, and my first feeling was on of joy. I wanted her around, I wanted to be with her, and yet, the reality of being with her never failed to disappoint me. Each time I would hope and dream of the time we would spend together and invariably the TV would trump me, she'd find something to pick on me about, she'd find a flaw, and ruin my every wish of having a mom who just loved me.

I remember craving her touch. She would sometimes, although rarely, stroke my hair, in the loving, gentle way a mother does, and for those moments her neglect, rudeness, lack of care for me would disappear and I wanted nothing more than for her to stroke my hair until I fell asleep and dreamed of a place where she was always there for me, loving me, caring about me, wanting to talk to me, and do life with me. I miss her. But I have always missed her. She has never been the mom I needed. She failed to protect me and my siblings, she was too busy thinking about herself and her needs. She failed to love me, she failed to be there when I needed her. So I miss her still, and suspect I always will.

And now, I am a mom, and I can think of nothing I'd rather do than to love on my baby boy, hold him, kiss him, stroke his hair. Let him know that no matter what I will be there for him. I will want to do life with him, I will protect him, and although I am human and will fail and one day die, I will point him to the Father who will never fail him, never die and always be there.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

My little gift from God



I decided I really want to document as much as possible the little things that take my breath away as I do life at home with my precious baby, Lakelan.

I won't be able to write down everything, but I do want to record a few things now while they are fresh in my mind, so that one day he and I and dad can look at it and reminisce about these amazing times, when he was just a little baby :-).

And some of those things, I would like to share with the blogging community, so here goes (these are directed AT Lakelan):

_ You are such a character! you are very goofy and make me laugh on a daily basis. Your funny grunt is definitely your trademark!
- I love how you make your desires known. There is very little to figure out, once you want something, you do your very best to communicate that to us, an although it can sometimes be frustrating, I love to see your personality and determination!
-I love how you play with me :-) you pull my hair, bite my chin, and generally treat me as one of your toys, and although it sometimes hurts, I love how you love me!
-I love our quiet times, when you're sleepy and we cuddle, when you nurse and look at me, when you JUST don't want anything but your mama :-)
- I love being your mom, I love that you are my baby. I love you Lakelan :-)

Thursday, June 22, 2006

VAMOS ARGENTINA!

This post is pretty much for about 3 people. The people I know who actually KNOW that the soccer World Cup is currently going on and that I AM VERY passionate about it.

I have rooted for my country (Argentina) ever since I can remember. I distinctly remember celebrating with family, friends and even strangers our world cup victory in 1986, and I was only 7 years old :-).

Every world cup after that (1990, 1994,1998, 2002 and now) I have been a foreigner. A foreigner rooting for a team nobody really cares about in the place where I live. That's because for world cups '90, '94 and '98 I was living in Italy and for the last two I have been in the U.S. where not only do people not care about MY country, they mostly don't even know about the world cup!!

There's a very strange feeling you get when you are in a country that is not your own, and you are rooting for your team.
It truly transcends soccer, it goes beyond that. You root for your country, your heritage, your neighbors, your family, everything that is familiar, everything you hold dear about the place, everything you remember about it from when you were a child.

Although I have called the U.S. my home for about 7 years, Argentina IS where I am from, where I am connected to a part of me that over the years just seems to get stronger. No matter how many years I live abroad, I will always shout out "VAMOS ARGENTINA!!" for every World Cup just as I did when I was 7 years old :-).



NOTE: Yes, the 2nd team I root for is the U.S. even though soccer is SO not the sport of choice here! :-)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

More Pictures :-)



7 things

I wish people had told me about parenting a baby :-)

1) Your concept of a "good night's sleep" will change drastically

What I was told was "get your sleep now...because in a few months, blah blah blah" or "once you have the baby, say goodbye to sleeping in" what I wish they had told me is something like this : "what you think of as sleeping in will change from 10am to about 7 am" or "you will think you've had a good night's sleep when you've only gotten up once and spent a half hour to 45 minutes diapering, feeding and getting your baby back to sleep" or "the first time you sleep all the way to 6 or 7 am you'll feel like you have been to a full service spa during the night"

2) Your baby won't be as cute as you think

Well...he is. But what I mean is, there is NO way everyone sees my baby as I do. Because it is simply not possible that he is THE SINGLE MOST beautifull baby in the world, now is it? ;-)

3) Your concept of "date night" will change drastically

People would tell me (while pregnant) how important it will be to make time for "dates" with my husband. The concept of a "date night" back then for me would have included dinner, a movie, some wine, candle light, staying up late, etc.
Now, a date night involves decisions such as "should I bring the breast pump?" and goes something like this : baby sitter (close friend) comes over, I feed baby one last time, we hurry out, go to a movie, think about baby the whole time while trying to still catch what the movie is about, rush home feeling as though I haven't seen my baby for hours on end, are happier than when I left when I get back :-)

4) Everything you think is important now, won't be as important once baby comes

i.e. clean laundry, showers, vacuuming, dinner cooking, dog walking, tv shows, and on and on....

5)You will have a blast!

It's true, I have a ball hanging out with my baby! He's a character :-)

6) You will be obsessed with strange things...

the list goes something like this:
-am I making enough milk?
-is he eating enough?
-has he had enough wet and poopy diapers today?
-has he napped enough today?
-will he be too hot/too cold while he's sleeping?
-does he have gas?

7) and amazed by the smallest of accomplishments:

- oh wow, he SMILED AT ME!!!
- Look honey, he can GRAB a toy!
- STOP everything you're doing, HE ROLLED OVER! :-)

I'm sure as time goes on I'll think of more and continue my list, but for now, this one goes out to all parents but especially moms! Happy Mother's Day everyone!!!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I'm still here!

I am afraid two things will start happening to my blog:

1) I will talk mainly and maybe only about my beautiful baby boy Lakelan :-)
2) I will blog less and less frequently as I spend more and more time enjoying my beautiful son Lakelan :-)

But that's ok, life's for living, and if you have a couple of minutes to blog about it, then that's a bonus!
This blog is more or less a reminder for myself. A way of putting down into words what I feel NOW, so that I won't forget later.

Being a mom has by far been (so far) the most challenging, stretching, beautiful, rewarding thing I have ever done. But I can't help but feel that it isn't really something I do. It truly is a big part of who I am. It isn't ALL I am but right now it sure feels like it takes up much of my personhood, and I like it :-)

I'm realizing that being a mom truly is a change in who I am, what I'm about, what my priorities are, what catches my attention, what I value most, what matters to me.

It goes beyond my little bundle of joy, it stretches out into the world and I'm noticing others more. Other mothers, fathers, children and families. I'm feeling them on a different level, as though a new part of my heart has been opened.
I have always been one to value relationships more than anything. People before tasks, friends before "duties", family before money and jobs, etc. But now, it seems I'm taking it to the extreme :-) I think I see things clearly, maybe (dare I say it?) closer to how God sees them? I see the people, the hearts, the desires, the dreams, the pain, and I don't look so much at the stuff, the jobs, the tasks, the responsibilities. I know I know...those are all important too, I just..see them from a different angle now :-) and I like it.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

This Incredible thing called Motherhood


WOW--Ok, this time I have a very good reason for not blogging for so long! I have a 3 week old baby :-)

What an amazing time this has been! Everything from the day it all started,(January 18th early morning)to the actual delivery, meeting my beautiful boy, sharing this awesome experience with close friends and with Paul, to coming home and learning to care for this precious little miracle..it has ALL been WAY more than I could have ever expected or imagined. People do tell you that it is something that you can't quite describe and well, it's TRUE! there are NO words. If there was ever a time when I have truly experienced God, his love, his goodness, his faithfulness, and his awesome power, this was it. The amazing experience of having a brand new perfect little life come from my body and into the world has forever changed me.
The gift God has given me in Lakelan is more than I will ever be able to put into words and more than I will ever be able to repay, just as anything that comes from our Father is!!

Obviously I don't have much time to blog these days so this is a short one, it is simply what I've been thinking since my little man was born. I'm in awe, I'm ecstatic, exhausted, and happier than I ever remember being!! Sharing this amazing new part of my life with Paul has also been unexpectedly rewarding and just, amazing. Again, too much for words. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel towards my faithful Father. That I would be privileged to receive such a blessing is almost more than my heart can take.

Now, I have to end this blog because I want to go be with and enjoy my little miracle, my baby, my boy :-)

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Lakelan Matias Jones



Here's the little man! He arrived on 01-19-06 at 2:31, weighed 8lbs 5oz and is 21 inches and he's GORGEOUS! :-)

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