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He makes me new, He is making me new

Monday, December 27, 2004

Bring it On

Again with the running while worshipping, or worshipping while running...I received a great CD for Christmas and played it this morning while running... It's Steven Curtis Chapman's "Declaration". My favorite song to run to in this CD is called "Bring it On".

I love it because it invokes strength and confidence, not in myself, but in God. The One through whom I can "take" anything or anyone. It resonates with what it means to be a child of God and have access to His infinite wisdom and strength, it is invigorating, strong and powerful.
It makes me FEEL the strength that can be mine if I only call on His name, I can sense, God's power through this song and it just, makes me feel like God and I can truly take on the world, not to mention, I feel like I can run FASTER and LONGER than with any other song! I LOVE IT!
If you have never listened to it, get a hold of it, it's an awesome song.

So, here is the chorus:


"Bring it on Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll, let the storm winds blow Bring it on Let the trouble come, let the hard rain fall, let it make me strong
Bring it on Let the trouble come, let it make me fall on the One who's strong Bring it on Let me be made weak so I'll know the strength of the One who's strong Bring it on"

It almost sounds arrogant doesn't it? But it isn't, it's all about WHO our confidence is in, WHO we trust to uphold us, WHO has the POWER.
Recently there have been things going on in my life where I have felt like singing "GIVE ME A BREAK" instead of "bring it on" but I have realized that through the difficult things in my past, He has showed me the strength He can give me, He has let the trouble come, He has let the hard rain fall and He has made me strong, I have fallen on Him, and I have known HIS strength.
So now I can say without fear and without doubt ...Bring It On!!!!!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Worship

I was running on the treadmill this morning at my local YMCA, and I usually go through "music phases", I find a CD I really like and wear it out while working out and then move on to another one....well, for the past few months it's been Mercy Me's latest CD, "Undone".

I've found that, as I've been really listening to the lyrics while my mind "zones out" and my body works hard, I have experienced some of the most powerful worship moments at, of all places...the YMCA!

I have allowed God to come and talk to me while I run,and sweat, and sing along in my head with these songs, and I have realized that I am truly worshiping on the inside, even though it doesn't necessarily look like it on the outside.
I don't know why but some of the moments I've been closest to God, have been while I've been surrounded by people, but alone in my heart, with just Him, while running, sweating, and looking....looking for Him. So I wanted to PROCLAIM, put outhere, write out, some of the words that have inspired such worship. Although I am not the author of the words below, they reflect perfectly my heart, a heart that is alive with worship, when I am in the presence of My Lord.

So...here they are, just a random "sample":

"I was taught to be practical in everything I do
Holding on to what is tangible, and then came You
That's when I found myself so far away, from everything I knew I took a leap of faith'
Even though You're difficult for me to explainI know I'll never be the same"

"You're everywhere I goI am not alone You call me as your ownTo know you and be known"

"As long as my heart is beating...Where You lead me I will follow Where You lead me I give my life away Where You lead me I will follow Forever and a day."

ONE particular truth stood out to me as I wrote those words and read them again:

"I know I'll never be the same"

Monday, December 20, 2004

COLD

It's so cold today.....It's about 3 degrees....that's just....entirely too cold for any human being....we're not in the North Pole,so
WHY IS IT SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD???????

Ok, I think that's it, that's all I have to say, this cold is not human...I'm moving. In my head I have already moved, I live somewhere where the coldest it ever gets is 50 degrees and it's sunny 90 percent of the time. I live near a beach somewhere and I walk my dog daily for hours at a time...yes, I live in a dream, it's very sad.....

and it's cold out...SO cold that my car wouldnt start this morning, so cold that my dog looks at me with this sad face when I tell her to go out to do her business. I don't blame her, the LAST thing I'd want to do out there now when it is this cold, is...THAT!

That's it, it' just, so cold that the word "cold" just doesn't even begin to express just how COLD it truly is....

Friday, December 17, 2004

Christmas Concert

Last night some very good friends of ours treated us to a beautiful Philharmonic Christmas Concert AND dinner! :-)

My husband and I got a chance to dress up, have a delicious dinner and hear a beautiful concert.
It was such an enjoyable evening, we had fun with friends, got into the Christmas Spirit, it was truly a gift.

I laid in bed last night after the evening was over, and felt grateful for having such friends in our lives. And I dont just mean the kind of friend that takes you for an evening on the town ;-), I mean, the kind of generous friend who chooses to spend time with you, set aside a whole evening, laugh with you, eat with you, and hear a beautiful concert with you. I truly felt special, I felt that my company was requested and enjoyed as much as I enjoyed everyone's company.

Come to think of it, people have always been important to me. It's always been important to me that the people I consider to be my friends, the people I care about, enjoy their time when I host them,enjoy my company, and my cooking, but most of all, it is important to me that the ones I care about know that I care about them. Many times in my life I have been left wondering if I mattered to someone, and it's not a nice feeling, if I matter to someone, if someone CARES about me, then I want to know, and at the same time I want the people I care about to know that I care and that I enjoy them being in my life, so I'm going to tell them! :-)

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Live like you mean it!

I was watching TV last night, yes, that is a pretty common occurrence for me,and I thought the slogan in one particular commercial was VERY interesting. Granted, the commercial was for Rum, but still.... the Slogan was "Live like you mean it".
Now..Rum or no rum, that's just good advertising! And it got me thinking...that would be a good slogan for Christian Living. In fact, NOT living like one means it would be hypocritical, now wouldn't it? Unfortunately, upon careful scrutiny of my "living" I realized....I have been living hypocritically...I don't mean it(whatever the "IT" may be) a lot of the time...That was a sobering realization.
The realization that sometimes the way I live, isn't authentic, it isn't what I would Do, say, or not do or not say, if I was being TRUE to myself and MEANT it.

I guess, what matters when it comes to "meaning it" is being intentional about our lives, our choices.If we make a choice to NOT be fully honest with others about who we are, it should be clear to US that we are CHOOSING that, intentionally.

I think "Live like you mean it" really means, be a MAN!(or woman), take responsibility for yourself,don't hide, make your choice and stand by it. But then again, what do I know? I don't drink rum and I'm not in advertising ;-)

Monday, December 06, 2004

I am chosen

Yesterday the theme of the sermon was "The joy of being chosen".

For as long as I can remember,and I've been thinking about this since the sermon yesterday,I have never been chosen. I was not chosen for sports teams, I was not chosen as a friend, I was not chosen for anything that deserves recognition.
Then a thought occurred to me. My mom once told me about her pregnancy with me. She said that she had some complications and they ran some tests, and the doctor's told her that there was a good chance that her unborn child(me)would have Downs syndrome and to consider ending the pregnancy.

According to my mom, her and my dad sat down at a cafe, and discussed having me versus not having me, and they decided that they definitely wanted to get to "know" me :-).

So as I reflect on this, I feel I was chosen in more than one way. I was chosen by my parents obviously, but I also believe strongly that God was choosing me, at that moment, He had chosen me at conception and knew who I would be before the doctors knew I was even there, but here He was choosing me...AGAIN!
I am here, and I'm alive, and I am who I am, because God chose me, and so did my parents(what they did after I was born is a whoooooooooole different story!)and that's pretty cool.

I was chosen, and so were you :-)

Friday, December 03, 2004

Laura who?

I was wrong about who I am. I thought I was someone else. Or more appropriately, I always tried to be someone else. Not anyone in particular mind you, just...not ME.
Not the ME I knew. I wanted to be...NOT clumsy, NOT flaky, NOT unorganized, NOT naturally chunky, NOT needy, on and on.

Among other things, I was an underachiever. If ever there was someone trying NOT to succeed, that was me, or the ME I thought I was, I should say.
Now....professionals agree that people like me, adult victims of childhood abuse that is, tend to become underachievers. In my case, it had to do with expectations or the lack of. If NOBODY expects anything from me, then nobody can be disappointed.
If my mom expected an A and I got an A-, she'd be disappointed and angry, and she concluded that even though in her estimation I was smart enough, I was "too lazy, didn't care, not disciplined, etc". So I learned that I was smart, but that after a while people in my life would accept that I was going nowhere with it.
I accepted this about myself, and moved on.well...not really moved on.

I constantly seeked the approval of others because I felt so...inferior. I hadn't accomplished any of the things my peers had, at one time it was a job, at another was education, a certain body shape, a certain fitness level, etc.
And so, accepting that I was an underachiever meant, I had to "make up" for it in any other way possible. This meant...turning myself into someone I was NOT.
I was trying so hard to be "socially acceptable" or even praiseworthy that in my efforts... I kept wearing myself down and NEVER truly feeling accepted, or good enough...Even after becoming a Christian, my tendencies stayed and I never truly understood what it was to be LOVED AS YOU ARE. How could I possibly understand that, when WHO I WAS wasn't...ME, but just a result of very hard work of becoming someone else??? How could I REST in knowing that God loved me for me, when I was so busy working hard at AVOIDING ME??

Slowly but surely God has been working out His love in my life, in ways that have shown me that I don't have to believe I am anything LESS than anyone else, and thus, I don't have to work extra hard at "making up" for it. I can "abandon" the parts of me I had adopted in the effort to be someone people would like, or even LOVE. So I am clumsy, it's part of me. It's probably the same part that makes me fun and funny....So I'm NOT organized,it's part of me,and it's probably the same part that allows me to enjoy life even in a messy house. I guess the point is, for people like me, who grew up with ALL the wrong "messages" being given to us, we MUST challenge it all. We must put it under God's light and refuse what is NOT from Him.

I am NOT an underachiever, I will not accept that message. I am NOT worth less if I don't perform to certain standards, I am NOT defined by my accomplishments OR the lack of. I refuse to believe any of those messages, all of which have been the driving forces behind my stubborn journey into acceptance.
May My Father in Heaven be gracious and give me the love and strength to continue to challenge those messages, and continue to hold onto the ME that He has made, the ME He has made in His image, not the ME I had created in the world's image.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

"Don't hide your talents!!"

I like to glance ahead at the "future" days on my devotional book, daily bread, etc.
I search the Bible verses and commentaries in the hope of finding the word of wisdom for TODAY. No, I am not known for my remarkable patience ;-)

Well, a couple of days ago, as my husband and I were visiting his family in Ohio for Thanksgiving, I saw a devotional booklet his aunt had sitting on the coffee table. I couldn't resist. I had to look. I had to "glance ahead" at ALL of them. And I believe God smiled down at me and said something like :" allright, here it is, for you" :-) And there it was, it caught my attention because the reference was Matthew 25:25, so I thought to myself :" Hey! I'm 25!!I should check this one out".

It's not a friendly verse the one that comes right after Matthew 25:25...Matthew 25:26 goes something like this: "You wicked and lazy servant, you should have taken the talent I gave you and deposited it,that way I would have at least earned interest"

I don't know about you, but I NEVER want God to look at me and say "You wicked and lazy servant". I got called lazy A LOT as a child and I hated it. But worse than that, I believe it. I believed they were right when they said I would never accomplish anything in spite of how smart and full of potential I was, because of my laziness and lack of discipline. I HATED "knowing" that no matter what I tried, my lazy inpatient "nature" would betray me every time.

But lately God has been saying to me..."Don't listen to that, don't use it as a crutch. Listen to what I AM saying to you. You are valuable, and you have talents, and you MUST invest in order to earn" He's been saying.... "TAKE A RISK....DO ONE THING DIFFERENT, and your perception will change. You will see what I SEE IN YOU:More than just potential...Give of yourself and it will come back to you with interest!"

I won't be the lazy servant. I won't "bury" my talents. I will shine my light, I will spread my salt, I will invest, I will sow, I will give of what I have as well as who I am. And I believe, my Father will smile, and He will bless me.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Today

Today is a good day. Because....it is here, it's available. I am here, Today.
Today I can talk to God and He hears.
Today I can rejoice in His Love and Grace.
Today I can give someone a smile, a hug, a kiss.
Today I can choose not to hold a grudge, not to get impatient with someone who needs my help.
Today is FULL of possibilities, and it seems...it's up to me to make the best of them, or the worst. That's a BIG responsibility! But that's why Today is so great, I am free to make a choice,make a mistake,be forgiven, and keep going, and make it right. I don't have to wait until tomorrow. I don't have to be anyone other than who I am today.I don't have to be who I will be tomorrow. I like that. No pressure...just today.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

The Journey

I have a confession to make. I have been lazy,mentally that is. I thought: "I'm done" "This is it" I thought: "I will grow wiser as I grow older, I will learn as I live". "Life is fine with me the way it is.

God never meant for us to be passive, but I had chosen not to see that. Being active is too much work! I did not grow up learning discipline and delayed gratification, so JUST thinking about things that cost time effort and a long term commitment,well...exhausted me! So I have been living my life in the "here and now". Any long term commitment possibility, scared me to death.

Then God started tugging at my heart,slowly...He started whispering in my ear:" you're only 25, you're not done by any stretch of the imagination, I haven't even started with you yet" He had some divine appointments for me including sermons that talked about opportunity, "getting out of the boat", pastors on the radio talking about the faithful servant who was eager and willing to obey God when He spoke to him even when it was risky...There were songs playing on the radio as I drove somewhere that spoke to a deep part of my heart "I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly" was coming out of my speakers as I contemplated new dreams, goals, challenges, ideas....God was pushing me, cheering me on, saying "YES!! I do want you to dream, and for the love of ME, do not just stop there, DO IT"

I realized that I am no exception to how God works in us, and that He won't let me be lazy, because, He loves me. So He showed me the work I have in front of me, and then He cheered me on, to make the decision to not "just dream" but to actually do it.

There is great freedom in knowing that it's ok to be who you are...I love how the band "Mercy Me" puts it :" No apologies, for who I'm meant to be, the only thing that matters is, I am free".
There is freedom in knowing that God DOES love me NOW, just as I am. He will continue to love me, no matter what I do from now on. There is great strength in experiencing that freedom,because it is that same freedom that gives me the courage and confidence to TRUST that He will be there when I take the step to CHANGE who I am now, so that I can grow.

Whether I stubbornly choose to stay where I am, or whether I courageously follow Him in the Journey towards growth, He will love me. So....I ask myself..."what have I got to lose?" :-)

There is one thing I have committed to in the long term and that is my marriage. And as I contemplated that, God showed me, that He has already proven that He will be there as I grow, through happy times and tough times, He won't let me get lazy and He won't let me despair, and that He is a longsuffering God, and that He blesses us when WE are longsuffering and persevere.
So, I have more than a promise to trust, He has a good track record already :-)


Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Tutuca


This is Tutuca Posted by Hello

I am in love with my dog. :-) Ok...so, some of you think I am a freak (yes, Rachael and Greg) for even HAVING a dog, let alone LOVE a dog! But I do.
It's refreshing to hang out with someone that wants to be with you, no matter what you're doing, what you're wearing, what you're saying,even if that someone is after all....a canine.
She is sweet, obedient, fun loving and protective, what more could you want in a buddy??! And that's what she is, I work at home all day by myself, so she's my buddy. We play, she naps, we play, she eats, we play, she naps a little bit again :-) what a LIFE!
But hey...she follows me wherever I go, she loves to walk with me,lay down if i'm laying down, watch TV with me,and she doesn't care if my hair isn't done and i have no make-up on,...gotta love that!
oh, by the way, she's a yellow lab and her name is Tutuca(pron. TootooCah)

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Boundaries

Boundaries....the title of yet ANOTHER book I'm reading :-)
I keep finding that a lot of my "dysfunctions" can be easily articulated by well educated people...Doctors and such, you know? I keep finding that all of the things I struggle with, can be understood, resolved, and changed. That's encouraging. There is A LOT in my life that I want to change. There's a LOT in myself that I want to change. But I'm not interested in tackling this change on my own,that would be foolish, that would be like tackling the building of a house without an architect. I am not an architect, so, I wont try to "build" this house on my own. So I am very thankful that God knows exactly what I struggle with, He knows my heart, He knows the desire therein....and He has shown me that He very much wants to give me all the tools to change me into the person He has made me to become. And I am thankful for people like Dr. Henry Cloud, who wrote the book "Boundaries" whose tools God can use in changing many people and encouraging them through this Journey into becoming more like Jesus.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Perspective

Once in a while I need to remind myself of the truly important things.... Recently a dear friend's son's death brought much needed perspective into my life. Seems trite, but why is it that I always forget what is TRULY important? I am saved by grace and my sins have been atoned for by the blood of Jesus Christ, that means, I live forever in fellowship with God our Father...THAT's pretty important!!!!!!!!!! That should supercede anything else that comes my way, but sadly,relatively unimportant "stuff" seems to get ahead in line all the time, bills to pay, stressful job, lack of a job, lack of time, sadness, anger....my cats not using the litter box properly.. :) etc. As if forgivess of my sins and eternal life with God wasn't enough, there are SO many blessings in my life!!!!! A great husband who loves me and whom i love, 2 GREAT stepdaughters who love me and whom I love, an awesome new house, many many friends in Christ, i could go on and on....but I don't...somehow, on most days, I'm thinking more about the "other stuff". Well, no more!!! I think most people need to remind themselves to think of the AWESOME things in their life FIRST, before starting their day and cluttering it with temporary and relatively unimportant stuff....if anything, it ought to help us make decisions that impact the "unmovable" stuff positively, and I am sure it would also help with moodiness and crankiness, not that I struggle with that or anything ;-)

Monday, August 16, 2004

A baby?

I thought I'd want a baby...a baby of my own, a baby of "our" own :-) (I guess I should include my husband) I've always thought that I'd want to be a mom someday, I've always thought that God made me to be, among other things, a mom. I like kids...some kids I LOVE...but I like all kids. I can find something to identify with in most kids, which is helpful when you want to "hang out" with them. Mostly...I do not have a hard time remembering what it was like to BE a kid, and so I try to tap into that as much as possible, to make it easier on me and the kid/kids in question,but quite honestly, also for fun. yeah...FUN. If you can actually live out what you remember about being a kid, it's a LOT like you still ARE one!! and in hanging out with kids, well....it's VERY helpful :-)
So...I never quite questioned the whole "being a mom" thing....but obviously, I dont KNOW what it'd be like. But this morning, I had quite a glimpse. I offered to "hang out" with(I dont like the word "babysit")my friend's 6 months old son while I worked (I work on the phone from home).
And so I did, he was here with me, while I worked.... and I LOVED IT!
I WILL NOT say that it wasn't hard to do...it was!....it was THE most multitasking I've ever done!! and for anyone who knows me, that's saying something!
Nor will I say that I remember what it was like to be a 6 months old,I dont... but somehow, we were ok. He seemed to enjoy my company and I certainly enjoyed his. Granted, he is a great baby, he's usually in a good mood, and when he's not he usually has a very good reason for it, which is more than I can say for myself.
I had a glimpse of what it'd be like to be at home working, and hanging out with MY baby, and OH MY! I liked that glimpse a lot! Again....it would probably be the hardest thing I've ever done, but....if it's this great with a good friend's child...I just CAN'T imagine how awesome it would be with my own....I dont think you're supposed to be able to. Imagine, that is....
I think God likes to bless us with surprises like that.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

life changes

so....wow,its been a while since the last time I blogged....lots of new things, new address, new home!!!!
Since moving here to our first home, lots of different things have happened,but mostly, I have been thinking about how good God is.
I have never personally or through family "association" been a homeowner. That hit me as I sat here in my new livingroom, considering what it means to have a chance to make this house a home. What a huge blessing that is, and how it goes way beyond these walls. It means my husband and I have a chance at building a marriage, a family, a life that honors God. It means I don't have to be a part of a vicious cycle of dysfunction, abuse, pain, abandonment,but rather be a "cycle-breaker". What an honor. What a task! God first blessed me with Salvation, and now He is blessing me with a great opportunity to build a new life, become a better person, pleasing in His eyes. Sometimes I lose sight of that...I complain....we dont make enough money, the house needs remodeling, our cats litter box stinks ;-)... but then all I have to remember is where I've been, both physically and spiritually, and remember that I am the richest I have ever been!!
Praise God...."Let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich, let the blind say I can see, it's what the Lord has done in me" I was weak,poor and blind....Praise God I am not anymore!!!!

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Psalm 30

Psalm 30
1I will exalt you, O LORD ,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
2 O LORD my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.
3 O LORD , you brought me up from the grave
you spared me from going down into the pit.


That is where I am today.Right alongside David. Praising God for His mercy.A couple of weeks ago I was praying and reading a Max Lucado book called "It's not about me" where he talks about how when we dont pray for "the things of God" but instead long to see "God's Glory" we cross a threshold.I believe in my case the threshold was my own sinfulness.I believe that when I prayed to see God's glory, He must have thought "really?You really wanna see it?Cuz that's going to hurt" what happened next is (I believe) I was placed in a situation where I had a clear choice to make: choose sin or choose LIFE. I will let you guess what I chose.That's right, what foolishness!! I CHOSE SIN, I chose DEATH.Before I knew what hit me, I was hardened to God and His Spirit and His conviction was falling on deaf ears, or more accurately on a cold heart. When my heart was finally convicted and I opened my eyes I could not believe the destruction around me.That is when the Spirit started His work in me and I realized the extent of my sinfulness and the path my life could have taken if I didn't choose LIFE.
I had been wondering what had happened to my prayer...to see God's Glory....THAT is when I SAW IT.I saw God's glory in HIS GRACE. When I saw the truth about my sin I cringed and ached and sobbed and reached out for God's mercy,and what I saw was His GREAT MERCY, His love, His generosity, His heart....HIS GLORY.I am realizing now that in no way can I as a finite,sinful,imperfect,limited human being begin to even grasp God's Glory before I truly SEE with my own eyes my own state,my sinfulness,my weakness,before I truly understand that without Him I am nothing, without Him my path is destruction and DEATH.Only then in that clear moment,in that moment of "temporary sanity" where I truly recognize my own state,can I see a fragment of His Glory, and then I can see by contrast HOW MUCH i depend on Him and how much He longs to give me everything I need,how GREAT His mercy is.I am in AWE of His Love and His Mercy.So grateful that He chose to bestow that on me and,as David said,"spared me from going down into the pit".
I'd like to close with David's words:

"You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever. "


Monday, May 03, 2004

"It's not about me"

"It's not about me" is the name of the book I am currently reading,by Max Lucado...
It would seem obvious,that as Christians we would be familiar with that concept;the "It's not about me" concept...but,turns out, I am not. I AM SO FAR from that! In reading this book and pondering on the different ways that it ISNT about me,I realize how far I've strayed from knowing what it truly is about. It seems so obvious and yet, I am re-learning,or perhaps on some level learning for the very first time,that the ONLY way that it is about me, is when it is about me seeking God. Seeking to glorigy God,seeking to please him,seeking to see him,seeking to be in the presence of His Glory. Or as Max puts it (much more eloquently than I can)"When our deepest desire is not the things of God,or a favor from God,but God Himself,we cross a threshold". I am realizing that I have been wanting and yearning for the wrong things all along....My focus shouldnt be on ministry or evangelism or giving opportunities..etc although all those things are great, what I really need to focus on is GOD Himself,His presence, His Glory,and pray with Moses's words "Show me your Glory" and hope that I would reflect His Glory once He grants my wish,just as Moses reflected God's radiant light.
All this time I have been much too concerned with me: my performance,my appearance,my reputation,my status,my image....HOW COULD I FAIL to see what truly is at the core of Christian Life!!! How could I forget that MY body,MY reputation,MY image, is GOD's!!!!!!!!!!!!NOT MINE!!If I am to be fully honest, I must say,I didnt forget, I conveniently "stored" that notion away somewhere where it wouldnt get in my way. MY way.MY agenda.MY time.
I am slowly coming to realize what it truly means to "Put away self" although I am nowhere near what it means to live that out. But God has all the grace I will need on my way there.

Monday, April 05, 2004

I choose Jesus

WOW....Yesterday was Palm Sunday, and our church presented a Musical called "The Choice" which I am honored to be a part of. In short, it is the story of a roman centurion who "Chooses Jesus".
Through the whole performance,all actors,singers,prop people,set people, were so focused on getting the show going,moving,working smoothly that I got a little bit lost in all that.Even while we prayed...we prayed to change people, we prayed that people would make "The Choice"...But just now it hits me,the day after,as I reflect on it,the meaning of it all was clear as we all sang"I choose Jesus" and declared to everyone what OUR choice is but most of all,declared it to HIM,the One we choose,the One who is the reason why we endured endless rehearsals,painful make up application(thats for the men)nerves,etc. We had a chance to SING OUT with Joy, and no shame,no hesitation WE CHOOSE JESUS,without a solitary doubt,not for a day but for eternity, we CHOOSE JESUS. That was definitely the highlight for me,I could hardly get through it without tears. I CHOOSE JESUS, and the One I wanted to hear that the most was HIM. I picture Him watching and listening to the sweet song we sang to Him,and smiling,and it felt SO strong, His love filled the room, His power was there,His presence was undeniable.What a moment.
I do pray that people were moved and changed,but mostly I pray that My God was pleased with me.With us. As servants. It felt awesome to serve Him,even to the point of exhaustion.There's nothing else I'd rather do.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

"Here comes the Sun"

"Here comes the Sun, do do do do" I have that Beatles tune stuck in my head.....I love it...It says so many things, it says "the snow is melting,the warmth returns,the birds are chirping" but it also says "My soul is awakened from its winter slumber, my senses are filled with new light,aromas,my eyes are delighted by the blue skies and bright sun..."
Spring is coming! We've waited so long!

Monday, March 22, 2004

"Bad Girls"

Bad Girls....
I'm reading this book called "Bad Girls of the Bible" and well...I can't help but to really relate.
The Bible says "Then the Lord made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man." Shortly after that, she gets into trouble.Didn't take long AT ALL. That's the way it is for most of us "bad" and "good" girls.I realized among other things in reading some of this, that it is Pride that gets us to sin most of the time,and it is also Pride that gets us to "label" people into "bad" and "good",in this case girls. Bad girls are those girls involved in sexual immorality,or drugs alcohol,etc...the "obvious" kind of sin,and we are the good girls,the rest of us. If it weren't for our pride though, we would see that that is not the case at all. We are all bad girls. The arrogant thought I had yesterday makes me one. The unkind word I spoke makes me one.My selfish actions make me one.
Maybe you can't see my sin but God certainly can,and that makes me a bad girl. But what is absolutely fascinating in a "obvious yet new" sort of way is that all of us bad girls(and that's ALL of us)are forgiven.
Forgiven for being bad,whether we are bad for a moment or a season. If we can set our pride aside and admit the "badness" is there,and we are willing to lay it down and be repentant of it, Our loving father has already forgiven us before we can say Amen. And what's even more fascinating liberating and humbling all at the same time is that,He will do it all over again tomorrow. Now, isn't HE good?! We aren't but we don't need to be. He is. He is all good.He is all that is good and pure.His goodness gets us much farther than our own goodness ever could.In fact, our goodness only takes us to pride,but His goodness takes us to brokenness and humility, where we can truly only be satisfied by His love.

Friday, March 19, 2004

First Blog!!!

Well, this is my very first blog! I feel the pressure...
As most everyday I sit at my computer chatting with friends and checkin emails and interpreting spanish calls on the phone...that is my job...well,the interpreting part is...I get to hear very interesting things while I interpret for others, some things are sad,some happy, some just silly, but overall, they just make me feel blessed that I actually DO speak english well enough to get around without needing help from a person such as myself, an interpreter. Some of these people need important things, such as filing claims for disability with Social Security, or speaking to their children's doctors, I feel blessed that not only I don't need an interpreter myself but I can actually be of help to these people for these most important issues in their lives.
As I type I am interpreting for a family at the hospital trying to set up treatment for their son, pretty important stuff!
Just a thought for those of you outhere that have always lived in the US and speak english,and everyone speaks english back to you...So many people outhere have NO way of communicating in their own language without the help of a translator or interpreter such as myself.

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