I have been gone...yet again, for a year! I think it's interesting and funny how that keeps happening
I got the bug to start writing again after watching the movie Julie & Julia, which if you haven't seen,I recommend.
The movie made me think, although I already was in a reflective state of mind, about my life and what it is that makes me the way I am.
I seem to have this idea, that I am somehow unfinished. That there is a great passion, or vocation that seems to somehow escape me, year after year. That there is something I should be studying, investing in, committing to, starting out, but I just can't seem to put my finger on WHAT it is.
Pray as I might, I can't reach a conclusion about what it is that I COULD do, with myself, I read book, and nothing, I research careers, and nothing, I think about the things I like to do and am good at, nothing....And then as I reflected, I decided to go to my blog and check out what I had last written about, HA! it is titled "who I am"
If you follow my blog, I'm sorry about being gone for a year, and coming back with..the SAME existential crisis over and over! :-P
Yes, I am a wife and mother and quite happy to be, and blessed to be able to spend as much time with my family as I can, but I am also a very social person, and thrive in social situations, so I keep thinking there ought to be something out there I could do, should do, that would enrich my life, life of others that I connect with, and make my world more interesting, more diverse, more connected.
Moving to Florida (oh yeah that's right, we moved!) has propelled me into thinking about this even more because we are starting over in so many other ways, it seems like a natural time to be thinking about this...yet again.
So...comments and opinions are welcome, as is constructive criticism :-) Heck, if anyone out there is STILL actually reading after a year, I'm just glad about that!
I hope to write again soon about....something else
2 comments:
Hey! I read it. There are still readers. Luckily, I have your post on an RSS feed-otherwise I would not have known you posted again.
Actually, Laura, I can relate VERY well to what you are saying. For years I have felt the same thing. I wondered what I should BE when I "grew up." And I got married and had kids and...the same as you. I was getting nothing. I worried sometimes that if something happened to Jamie I would have no idea how to support us. I felt empty...with little purpose or direction, although I felt like I was doing what I needed to do at the time (being a wife and mother).
Then one day it just hit me and I knew. It seemed so obvious and I still don't know how I missed it. I think I did because it was not God's timing yet to have me know. Long story short, I am almost done with my library degree...as I am sure that you remember me starting.
I don't have an easy answer...and I hope it doesn't take you as long to figure it out. I DO know that God has the answer and in his timing (which is not ours)...he will let you know what it is you should do that will help you answer these questions and yearnings you have. I also believe that there IS something out there for you to do and be and study...because God has put that desire in your heart.
Priscilla, those are encouraging words to me, and I honestly don't care if it takes long, as long as I feel that He is leading and I am following...I'm not interested in "pushing" my way into anything...
Congratulations on all the hard work with your degree, I admire you for starting and even more for continuing!
thank you for reading and commenting!!! :-)
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