Paradox

Well, I've done it again....I found a new favorite author, Parker Palmer.

The man has a real gift and way with words, but beyond that, I feel so identified with his way to view and live out his spirituality.

Reading his book "The Promise of Paradox" this weekend I found that this particular passage really summed up so much of what I experience in my own journey, and so I wanted to share. Interestingly, this passage is not even written by him, but instead it's a quote from Thomas Merton:
"I have had to accept the fact that my life is almost totally paradoxical. I have also had to learn gradually to get along without apologizing for the fact, even to myself. And perhaps this preface is an indication that I have not yet completely learned. No matter. It is in the paradox itself, the paradox which was and is still a source of insecurity, that I have come to find the greatest security. I have become convinced that the very contradictions in my life are in some way signs of God's mercy to me; if only because someone so complicated and so prone to confusion and self-defeat could hardly survive for long without special mercy."

He goes on and deeper into what this paradoxical living looks like, which I am finding more and more interesting. But this passage did a great job in my opinion at setting the stage. I think as Christians we have a hard time truly accepting our whole experience on earth, because so much of it isn't black and white and straight forward. We struggle because we want concrete, definite and defined lines and boundaries and neat little boxes where our theories and beliefs can fit.
But this spiritual life is full of paradox, and though we are saved by grace, our shadow side still exists. I want to learn to live within the paradox, rather than trying to deny or hide from it. In the paradox we find God's grace, and if we can accept it, we can be freed by it.