Lonely

It's times like these that make me feel lonely. Sad times, times when things don't go the way I had hoped and prayed.

I mostly miss my sister at times like these.She's the one person that has known me since I was born and who has been with me through the difficult years of childhood and puberty. The ONLY one at my wedding that knew me since I was in diapers, the only one who has seen me little and afraid, grown up and strong, and now when I need her, she's not here. It's not her fault mind you, I am the one who left. I left to come here, start a new life, and God has deeply blessed me,there's not doubt about that. Yet I miss her, a LOT. I am not sure what this power is that she has to make me feel better by just being there, being herself, being with me. Maybe it's the power of familiarity, in the very sense of the word. What's more familiar than someone you have known your WHOLE life? Maybe it's just the notion of her love for me, in spite of everything she knows about me.

So then I realized, where my comfort comes from. It comes from the love of someone who knows me like nobody else does and who still loves me in spite of much she knows. There is someone who has known me longer and better than my sister, my Father in heaven.
And he loves me, just as I am, in spite of everything He knows, and He knows EVERYTHING!
He tells me this in His word :" Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" (Jer 1:5).
He does know me, and He does love me, and I don't need to feel lonely,because He is here:"And surely, I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20).

I still miss my sister, but I know He makes me stronger everytime He asks me to lean on Him and trust Him. I know my faith is renewed when I experience His presence and provision and love. He's here with me, and that's all I need to know to not feel lonely anymore.