Ragamuffins

I don't really have any new words of my own, it's just, the more I read Brennan Manning, the more I want to share his words with everyone out there who is on the journey I find myself on.
The journey towards towards a stripped down and genuine self, towards real love for others, towards true and utter freedom in Jesus.

So here are some words that deeply convicted me as I read them last night:

From "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning
The letter of James counsels: Confess your sins to one another(James 5:16). This sanctuary practice aims to guide us in accepting ownership of our ragamuffin status, but as Dietrich Bonhoeffer noted, "He who is alone with his sins is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, not withstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final breakthrough to fellowship does not occur because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everyone must conceal his sin from himself and from their fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners!" At Sunday worship, as in every dimension of our existence, many of us pretend to believe we are sinners. Consequently, all we can do is pretend to believe we have been forgiven. As a result, our whole spiritual life is pseudo-repentance and pseudo-bliss.

That pretty much sums it up for me. Once again, it's those masks we wear, except in "christian culture" it's more than wanting to one up each other or make ourselves look better, it is more than that. It is not allowing ourselves to embrace the fact that even though we are FULLY forgiven by our Creator, we really are still sinners, struggling to keep going, in the muck and mire of this chaotic earthly life. Not one of us is better than any other. Not one of us has it all figured out.
I have been in situations where I have judged others for their sins. I am not above it, I have thought "shouldn't they know better?" and I have issued judgment instead of acceptance and forgiveness. And then I have been on the receiving end of that question " Laura, shouldn't you know better?" It's no fun to be on the receiving end (though I have been on the receiving end of grace and that is nice :-)) to know that you've screwed up, you've hurt and disappointed someone, you have chosen wrong, you have chosen sin.
But, it is no good to be on the giving end either, because, it is not love. It is not what Jesus did for his own, for Peter who chose wrong, for all of us, before we even asked, before we even knew we needed Him. What He did do is teach us how to love one another.
Can't we just accept and expect that those around us WILL behave sometimes in less than God honoring ways and love them through that? Can't we all see that an outstretched arm is infinitely more helpful than a pointing finger? And if we did, wouldn't people all around us feel safe enough to actually confess their sins to us so they can be free of the burden of loneliness? And wouldn't it be nice to feel safe enough to confess our sins without fear of losing out somehow?

I strive to accept and expect that because it is the only way to true fellowship with others. Honest, open and real relationship with those God has given me to love. I DON'T want to care what people THINK of ME, I want to care more about whether I am loving them well and whether I am being loved well.

I do still care what people think, about me, my image, my "performance" in life, (how do I look, what I do for a living, how my house looks, how my son behaves, how my marriage looks to others, and on and on) but of all the things I have ever wanted, being FREE of this has got to be among the top desires of my heart. To be free of performance anxiety, to be free of "what will people think" -itis, to be free of counterfeit relationships that serve only to stroke our egos.

To live in the peace of knowing that loving gets me way more brownie points ;-) HA! just kiddin'

but seriously, can't we all just get along? :-)