Stream of consciousness...sometimes for me, is the only way to write, I guess that's what they call free writing
I sit here, I let my thoughts run out of my head and through my fingers to the keys, and I am typing, I guess that means I am writing...but do I really have anything to say?
Maybe that's irrelevant, maybe the exercise of simply sitting here and letting my fingers go and run free, is what gives my soul respite, although it isn't my fingers who need freedom, it is my heart, my soul.
Why do I seek freedom? Is my heart truly imprisoned? Perhaps I have created a prison for myself that I need to break free of. But if I am the jailer, I hold the key, yes? If only it were that easy.
I need Jesus, I need Him to break the chains that enslave me, I need Him to open the doors I have shut and locked for myself.
Am I spending all my time spinning and striving, only to always find myself in the same place? Is it time to finally let go and be still and know that He is God?
I have so little control over most things...isn't it time that I just, let go?
Isn't the truth that we cannot control life? And why would we want to?! it's not as though we know what we're doing!...on most days I don't even know what I want for lunch, let alone know what I want for my life...
I do know I want love, and love can be painful sometimes. Love can be hard work, and it can hurt. And love is sacrifice, and to love is to see someone else first. Maybe that's something I need to focus on, see others first. Stop looking inside so much, and pay attention to the souls around you. Is there redemption in selfless love? No question. No doubt.
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